savvynomadadventures

During this wildly challenging time in our world due to the Covid-19 Pandemic, we attempted to get away from San Diego to rid our minds of the constant bombardment of Covid and Covid that. We have been cooped up in our 600-square-foot apartment for 64 days, with the State of California’s “Stay at Home” order. Sure, you can still go to Target, Home Depot, or Costco and buy anything your little heart desires with little or no regulations; and yet these big corporations allow 1000’s of people to pass through their doors every single day. Heaven forbid you want to shop at your favorite local business…FORGET ABOUT IT!

Small businesses are mandated to stay closed. And riddle me this: liquor stores are somehow essential, but churches…must remain closed. My mind is about to explode. It’s obscene and absolutely ridiculous, yet completely par for the course.

Our government and its support of big business prevail even in times of peril for the common folk. While small businesses are literally dying every minute, big corporations are reaping the benefits, thus shrinking the already tiny middle class. Ahhh I digress, this wasn’t supposed to be a political post, but actually one filled with adventure and moths. Lots and lots of moths. So let’s get to it.

We initially wanted to take the beautiful drive up the California Coast to Big Sur & Monterey but refocused our efforts when we realized that literally everything, including the 17 mile drive would be closed. Where can we go to get away from the noise?

Big Bear popped into my mind as it is just a short 2.5 hour drive from San Diego and I’ve always wanted to go. So, at 11pm on Friday night I booked us a cabin in the San Bernadino National Forest, just 20 miles outside of Big Bear. Little did I know that the Covid-19 restrictions for Big Bear had been lifted only hours before.

Our excitement was building and as we turned down Rainbow Lane (how suiting), the homestead came into view. A winding road deep into the forest with cabins peppered throughout. We pulled up to a friendly woman and she came to the car and greeted us. She smiled “You must be Sam”. She explained to us that the the entire area had been locked down until yesterday. We were the first to come stay after the 2 month government-issued shut down. She handed us some fresh eggs and offered us some milk and orange juice (which we later realized was expired…thanks.) We started to hear a loud buzzing. The sound started off quiet but soon turned into an almost deafening rumble. Our host started running toward the door and at the same time we noticed the swarm of hundreds of thousands of bees heading in our direction. I have never seen or heard anything like it. It looked like a mini tornado. A dark cloud of swarming bees. They were gone as quickly as they appeared. Hmmm, this could be interesting. An Omen? I hoped not.

We graciously took our expired libations and headed in the direction of our cabin. To our delight, it was situated on a hill facing the forest and was absolutely adorable. It seemed to be meticulously cleaned and was warm and cozy. A fireplace adorned the living room and the bedroom was finished with a hot tub. I was most excited about that hot tub and the lavender scented bath bomb that was offered next to it as a gift.

Wow, a bath. Cue spa music…I imagined the stress floating away and couldn’t wait to get into that thing later.

Whispering excitement flowed between us as we unpacked the car. We headed to town to get groceries and I decided to call my best friend Jenn. I told her that she and her boyfriend Edi needed to get their asses up there. She was reluctant at first and cross-examined me to the fullest. You see, Jenn is a city and beach girl. Nature really isn’t her thing. I assured her the cabins were perfect; no signs of rogue insects, and that she had nothing to worry about. After several hours of persuading, they booked the cabin next to ours and would head up the next morning to join us.

As the sun was setting, we lit a fire and started the bath. The soft crackling of the fire set against the backdrop of the mountain sunset was surreal. We dimmed the lights and slipped into the hot tub. I tossed in the bath bomb and we turned on the jets. Serenity now.

As my eyes slowly started to adjust to the darkness I noticed the bath was full of black specs. I was intrigued and for a brief moment thought maybe it was herbs from the bath bomb. As the seconds ticked on my natural instincts kicked in and I knew something was seriously awry. I didn’t want to freak Honey out so I coolly told her that we needed to get out of the tub. Still, she sensed the panic in my voice, looked down, and exclaimed “What is all of this stuff!!” She literally leaped out of the hot tub and flipped the light on. I was quick on her heels.

Shivering, naked, soaking wet, and covered in large black specs we hovered over the hot tub to inspect. What we found made us both start hysterically screaming and running around like madwomen. We were howling and using the towels to wipe off our bodies so fast you would think we were covered in hundreds of bugs…but wait…we were.

We frantically jumped in the shower to rid ourselves of the exasperation. As the shock started to dissipate we tried to figure out what had happened. We conducted a full blown investigation into what went wrong. Based solely on empirical evidence collected at the scene of the crime, we concluded: During the 2 months that the cabin was closed, ALL of the insects in the entire Big Bear region decided to keep warm within the jet tubes of the hot tub in our cabin but had no way out… until that is, we decided to turn on the jets.

The romantic evening ruined, our adrenaline pumping, we sat by the fire and attempted to relax. It was a valiant effort that lasted all of 10 minutes.

“Babe, are those moths on the outside of the door, or are they in here?” I murmured to Honey. She quietly responded, “I think they are in here”.

Several HUGE brown moths seemed to appear out of nowhere. We captured all of them one by one and released them outside. Just as soon as we started to relax again about 5 more appeared.

“Babe, are those moths inside?” I cried. “Yes, I think they are”. As we captured the second round of moths we realized that a steady stream of the bastards were creeping into the cabin. We had no idea from where.

Let’s just face it: Moths are creepy. Giant moths are REALLY creepy. And tons of giant moths flying around your cabin just before bed, after you have been covered in insects are what nightmares are made of.

But wait, there’s more.

We were exhausted and just wanted to go to bed. It seemed that we had caught all of the moths. We intensely inspected the bedroom. All clear. Bedroom door secured, light off, time for bed.

One of the selling points of the cabin was “sleep under the stars with the skylight above your bed”.

We crawled into bed, Honey was asleep in minutes. Me? I was way too wound up to sleep so I pulled out my Kindle. Moments later I start to hear a fluttering sound above my head… Tap, tap, tap swish. Tap, tap, tap, swish. At first, I thought it was a squirrel or small rodent on the roof but the rhythmic pattern seemed all too familiar. I switch the light on. Directly above our head, a large moth is bouncing against the skylight, endlessly trying to get out. Fuck.

We captured the moth, inspected the room, all clear. Repeated bedtime ritual. 5 minutes in. Tap, tap, swish. Light on, several moths directly above our head. FUCK! By this time it was after midnight and my patience had run out. It’s terrifying to have these large creatures flying above you as you attempt slumber. We repeated this process for what we hoped was the LAST time of the evening. I thought that maybe the light of my Kindle was somehow having an effect so I turned it off and decided to attempt sleep. I took 2 sleeping pills, and covered my entire body head to toe with sheets and blankets, leaving only a tiny opening for my mouth so I could breathe. Lights out. Sleep ritual repeated.

I finally start to drift away then BOOM! The unthinkable happens. So horrific it must be a nightmare. I inhale in and there is a giant moth on my MOUTH. Flapping its wings, its disgusting body literally stuck to my mouth, which is now wide open because I am screaming at the top of my lungs, thus sucking it almost completely down my throat. I am now 100% hysterical.

Full blown frenzy.

Honey leaps 10 feet out of bed. I’m inconsolable. The moth, now dead, streaked in an ashy bloody massacre across the wall. I am in shock. There will be no sleep tonight. Words simply cannot describe the horror of it all.

We think we figured out where they were coming from…so, naturally, we used paper towels and a CD as a tool and plugged up every single hole in the bedroom. As I am standing above the bed, plugging up one of the holes, a huge spider shows itself. This guy was a monster. Hiding out DIRECTLY above our heads. Honey is terrified of spiders and she looks like she is going to cry. The whole situation is surreal at this point. I grab the sunscreen because there is nothing else and I spray the fucker. Of course, he leaps at my head, I duck, and he lands on the bed and disappears into the bedding abyss.

OH. MY. GOD. This can’t be real.

It’s 2am. Every single piece of bedding has been shaken off and inspected. All holes plugged up. No signs of moths or spiders. We sleep.

As the sun starts to rise I contemplate calling Jenn and telling her not to come, but selfishly I decided against it. I already emailed the owner and told her to make sure she cleans the hot tub jets of the other cabins. I figured the moth situation was unique to our cabin, and I dare not tell her anything about spiders. Jenn is an arachnophobe.

The owner was responsive and even came and duck-taped a garbage bag over our skylight to create a make-shift barrier to help prevent a future moth situation.

So…We’re good, right?

Jenn and Edi pull up around 10am. The sun is shining and it’s a beautiful day. I walk over to greet them with 2 steaming hot cups of coffee.

First stop: Alpine Pedal Path: We arrived at the Alpine Pedal Path and take out our bikes. We were finally on our way…or were we?

Edi has a flat. Really? REALLY? All we could do is laugh. They quickly took the bike to a local shop to have it fixed and off we went.

Gorgeous Big Bear Lake views and a nice and easy ride. We were still craving more and opted to hike Castle Rock Trail. The hike was intense and a straight shot up the mountain. Sweeping views at the top made it all worth the scramble. We had an absolute blast. We were completely winded but it was awesome!

Time to grill! We rendezvoused at our place and grilled a fabulous meal. No signs of moths in our cabin. Phew. I guess the garbage bag barrier did the trick.

As we said our goodbyes to Edi and Jenn I gently joked “Text me if there is a moth problem”.

OH NO. Please no. SCREAMS from down yonder.

I rushed to their cabin: It was a scene straight from a horror movie. Hundreds of moths flying around in their cabin. On the walls, the ceiling, their bags, the bed, in the lights, on the floor. I couldn’t make this up. There was no escape. There was no fixing this problem. They quickly grabbed their shit and followed me back to our cabin, where they stayed the night.

We decided that we had enough. I emailed the owner and explained in detail the situation and that we would be checking out a day early and that we would appreciate a refund. She agreed a full refund was in order, was extremely apologetic, and explained that they were going to exterminate all of the cabins that day. They simply had no idea that there was an infestation.

We decided to hike Cougar Crest Trail on the way out of town. It’s a 5.4-mile trek out and back and gave us 360 degree views of Big Bear Lake and the surrounding San Bernadino National Forest. It was an absolutely majestic hike and made the moth nightmare seem like a distant memory.

As we descended down the mountain, the temperature drastically dropped. My weather app predicted snow was in our near future so we decided it was time to head home.

We grabbed lunch and said our goodbyes. Honey and I exchanged glances and started cracking up. What a crazy weekend. What else could possibly happen?

Just as we were leaving Big Bear…SPLAT! We hit a squirrel. My Lord.

We drove in silence for some time as we mourned the death of the furry creature we just accidentally murdered. I mean, it only makes sense that we kill a damn squirrel to end this trip. But why? Why did the squirrel have to die?

The fog rolled in. I have never seen fog this thick. You seriously could not see more than 20 feet in front of you. It was a terrifying, slow expedition down the mountain. Alas, we made it home safely to tell the tale of our oh-so-memorable Big Bear trip.